Anonymous asked: Demyx / Zexion / Axel / Riku Their lover dies.
Oh my god anon, what are you doing to me?
Um….. alsdknadsf He would probably cry for days. It’d be pretty good on him because he’d have a lot of friends to hold him up and be his shoulder to cry on. But he always sees the bright side of things and he can’t be sad for long. Plus his lover preferably Xigbar wouldn’t want him to dwell too much on it. Of course he’d never forget, but he wouldn’t let it bring him down too far.
Oh I’m terrible at Zexion head-canons. Um… He would probably have to sit quietly for awhile at the funeral. He’d be broken inside, but he’d never show it outwardly. Maybe he’d cry sleeping alone at night, but he wouldn’t admit it later on.
asldkfnads oh jesus Axel would be a damn mess. He’d be crying and angry all at the same time. Like tree punching, chain smoking, etc bad. He’d stop feeling and he’d do anything to find a feeling again. He’d fall in with a bad crowd and experience things that he shouldn’t. But he’d get addicted because the drugs would let him hallucinate and see the person he’d lost again - in addition to just letting him crash and have dreams that they’re still here. He’d be like this until the day he died unless someone manages to pull him out of it and get him back on his feet.
I don’t like this one because alksdfasdfn I don’t want Axel to die but oh god I just fuck I hate this question so much. Evil anon. You want to watch me suffer.
lakdsnfalksdnfaklsdnfalksdnfaklsdnfaskldnf no no no no no no no no. aldskfnasdlkfndslaf no no no no no no no no no. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Riku. does. not. handle. death. well. in. any. way. He is more than a mess. He’s catatonic and wild at the same time. It’s terrible. And I have different head-canons for what he’d do if someone he loved died. He’s got different reactions for all of them
(and don’t even get me started on the circumstances of death like murder, suicide, car crash, etc) Okay… you can stop reading now unless you want to read my overly detailed descriptions of this… and I’m going to be shortening my full description so that just tells you.
Um… Trigger warning? It’d be a trigger warning for me, just reading this out of nowhere.
These are for the relationship SoRiKai and AkuRiku. I’m not going to go into detail of the individual Soriku and RiKai deaths because… just… no. But he would have a different reaction in just a two-person relationship as opposed to the three-person SoRiKai relationship and yes I have thought about each reaction… My Riku head-canons are extensive.
Sora dies: The first problem he has is denial. I’m talking, sitting in the emergency room and he and Kairi are sitting there holding hands and clinging to each other when the doctor comes out with bad news. He goes into this state of shock and shuts down. Kairi is in her own shock and no god this isn’t about Kairi’s reaction stop it- but it takes about an hour or two for it to sink in and then someone says “He’s gone” (or something along those lines) one too many times and Riku loses his mind because Sora can’t be gone. That’s not how it’s supposed to happen. Not Sora. Not his best friend. Not the happy brunet that he’s known for his entire life. No. He’s going to wake up tomorrow holding Sora just like he has for so long. So they need to stop saying that he’s gone. He’s going to talk to his best friend again. He’s going to. And then he just breaks down into a sobbing mess in Kairi’s lap and she cries with him and holds him until they both fall asleep.
God fucking christ I’m so utterly grateful that Riku can cry in front of Kairi because alsdkfn He’s numb for a really long time after this. Kairi (who is much like Demyx in this fashion) manages to.. not move past it… but she can look ahead and see the bright side (which is what Sora would want). So she holds Riku up and that’s okay for a really long time until they get into a nasty fight because Kairi just wants Riku back because dammit she’s hurting too. Riku leaves and goes straight to Sora’s grave and he breaks down and cries for god knows how long. Then Kairi finds him and Riku holds her this time as she cries the tears she’s been holding in for him for too long. And that’s when the healing begins. They never move on… but they manage to find happiness in each other again.
Kairi dies: asdlkfafadf ugh god fuck’s sake. This one is so much harder. Not because he takes Kairi’s death any less hard, but because he can’t allow himself to cry in front of Sora. For their whole life he’s been the rock. He is Sora’s rock and Sora’s the one that’s going to grieve. Riku says he’s grieving in his own way and that he’s not exactly fine but he’s not… I dunno… horrible. Sora feel guilty later for believing him, even if he hears Riku crying almost silently in the shower on multiple occasions. And one day Sora finally, finally confronts Riku - on the one year mark exactly… because Riku’s never been to Kairi’s grave except for the day of the funeral. He never went back. Sora goes all the time and he wants to go together. Riku refuses and Sora finally tells him that he knows Riku cries - something Riku denies. Sora says everything that Riku is thinking about his sadness and his grief while Riku grits his teeth and tries to pretend it isn’t real. He’s been holding it in so long and Sora can see it in his eyes. Sora pulls Riku, who has gone numb - number than he’s ever been, practically catatonic - and they get in the car. Sora drives them to the cemetery and it’s completely quiet with Riku just staring blankly out the window. When Sora takes him to Kairi and Riku is close enough to her name on a gravestone he falls to his knees. Sora stands back as Riku falls down on all fours, his fingers fisting in the grass while he keeps trying to choke back sobs. It’s only when Sora finally rests a hand on his shoulder (because Sora understands, he knows) that Riku let’s himself finally show Sora everything he’d been keeping inside for a year. They sat in the cemetery until the sun rose, leaning against the stone as if Kairi’s hands were resting soothingly on them.
Axel dies: oh my fucking fuck shit ass alskdfnasdlkfnadsf This is a new development. And y’know… I might have to take back what I said about Kairi’s death being the hardest… Again this isn’t because Sora or Kairi’s deaths would be easier. It’s all about circumstances. One thing you need to know about Riku and Axel’s relationship is that they are each other’s lifelines. They’re so much more than best friends. More than boyfriends or husbands or any kind of label that could possibly be slapped on it. They’re brought together under horribly sad circumstances and they fall ridiculously and hopelessly in love with each other. You know what I said about them getting lost in each other? Well that’s not even the whole story of how irritatingly
omgit’snotevenirritatingit’ssocute in love they are. But it covers enough for you to kind of get the idea. It’s difficult because I have to go into so much detail for AkuRiku because there aren’t really generally accept head-canons about them and just aldkfnad But oh god. Riku would just… he’d be dead inside if Axel died. I have avoided thinking about this extensively. If the death is extended (like Axel’s in the hospital) Riku isn’t going to budge. He’s not going to leave the hospital and he’s not going to leave Axel’s side until… Riku wouldn’t be able to cry. (there are tears of relief if Axel ends up being okay though) But… if Axel died… I said Axel would be numb if his lover died… Riku would be way past numb. It would be like his soul had left his body and he was this empty shell of a person, blindly going through life. If Axel’s his lifeline and he dies then, almost literally, Riku’s lifeline has been cut, but he continues to live. He doesn’t speak at the funeral. He can’t look at Sora and Kairi - his best friends, he can’t even look at them. God he’s so happy god he can’t even be happy but there is no better word for it that he has them and they are alive, but he can’t look them in the eye because he knows he’s dead inside. He doesn’t want them to see him like this. Andhe’s angry. Angry at whatever or whoever caused his death. Angry at the world for taking Axel. Angry at Axel for leaving. But mostly he’s angry with himself because he can’t move on and be strong like Axel would want him to. He always was strong for Axel, but they both knew when they could be weak and break down. Axel was the one that held him up during the hardest times. He had reached this point where he’d stopped pretending and hiding with Axel and now Axel was gone? He’s never going to talk to Axel or hold him or kiss him or anything and he can’t even absorb it. It’s washing over him like water. Sometimes lingering, but eventually drying up and being forgotten. He doesn’t cry for a few months. He never left their apartment. He still lives there despite his parents telling him that it might be best for him to pack up and move elsewhere (he would always shake his head and calmly say that he didn’t want to move, he liked where he lives). But one night he’s laying there in Axel’s old bed (which was really their bed because they never slept in Riku’s room and they actually had pushed it to the side and put some desks in there for their work space), still empty. He staring at the ceiling when he turns over and takes a deep breath. That’s when he realizes that he can’t smell Axel anymore. There is no hint of cinnamon or cigarettes or fire. And he just… he practically explodes. He grabs Axel’s secret stash cigarettes (that Axel never even knew that he knew about) and lights them up. But all it smells like is cigarettes - stale cigarettes - not the way Axel smelled like cigarettes. He takes the lighter and lights some paper on fire, but they burn out and all it smells like is smoke. Then he tears through the kitchen for cinnamon but it spills when he finally finds it because Axel hadn’t screwed the cap on properly which is something that would annoy Riku to no end. So he screams and throws the now empty cinnamon container and keeps looking through the apartment for something that smells like Axel because it was all he had left. And instead all he finds is Axel’s phone. So he turns it on and it’s only got a small bit of battery left (Axel was never good at charging his phone). So he listens to Axel’s voicemail message which is a very short, “Hey it’s Axel. Leave a message.” He listens to it three times until the battery dies along with his last piece of Axel. That’s when he sits in the floor of their room and he stares before it completely and finally hits him like a tidal wave that Axel’s gone. Then he cries for hours and falls asleep on the floor. He doesn’t dream anymore.
Fuck okay no more I can’t write anymore I cried writing that. The reason Riku doesn’t handle death well at all is because I don’t handle death very well. I cried for a week after my dog died. Some kid at my old high school, who I’d only talked to once or twice, died a couple weeks ago and I was just… I can’t. I don’t handle death well. I can’t even think about it. I was thinking about it tonight when I was petting my other dog and I teared up. I don’t really cry but the way to make me cry is to mention death of a loved one or just… someone that I’ve even known for a little bit. I just don’t have healthy reactions to death and I’m ranting now. I need to stop talking about this.